making a website i guess

thursday, 6 may 2021, 00:03

couch @ dtla aparment

so this is my first attempt at a blog. 

its 23:46 as of the beginning of writing this, and i honestly have no idea what to say, but the dude on the youtube video that pushed me over the edge to do this says that gets easier. 

i watch a lot of productivity / self help youtube lol. as you might expect, its riddled with dudes that work out and are usually white passing, but tbh i have actually learned a pretty significant amount of dope things from these dudes. like today i was watching this Matt D'Avella video and the dude said something to the effect of "start before you're ready" and i was like woah.

cause i'm not gonna lie to yall i have been dramatically feeling lately like i should have started a lot of things WAYYYY the fuck earlier. and the frustrating thing is is that with each thing i wish i would have began doing earlier, if i think back to when i first started doing any of it in a meaningful way, in realized i often started out of necessity. for example i got into visual art mostly because i wanted to have more control over my album artwork which i had been outsourcing to other artists for so long.

(working with other artists is fucking awesome and i miss doing it, but for now i can't pay the rates i want to pay for art and also i am incredibly picky about my vibe right now for some reason lol)

i'm listening to my own music right now, which is kind of odd, but its nice in a way. reminds me that ultimately i'm doing this for myself because i like the sounds of computers mashing their heads together in a cacophony of clipping and "fuck you"s to any respectable mix engineer. 

ok so why am i doing this -- get to the point wil lol.

tl;dr: documentation. i lived at this house that we all affectionately called "hose" and i remember one night i was having a conversation with my roomate s***** about how to properly spill your artwork into the world. i remember thinking how jealous i was of visual art because you could like print it out and staple it to a light post or something. its kinda like how when you see graffitied rocks in a park or something and you are like "huh, a person did that" -- i wanted that for all of my art. 

i remember thinking how there seemed no way to just spew musical art into the world in an anonymous and timeless way. without the internet anyway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

well here i am. i wasn't able to find a physical way to do it, but i have found a method of documenting and spewing all kinds of my art out into the world in a way that is likely just as (un-but-also-fantastically)impactful as carving my name into the sidewalk. 

alright at this point in this writing process im listening to chlorine by wolf which i found through another song by this artist that Alter. sent me. shoutout Alter.

lol by the time i finished writing that the song that Alter. sent me started playing so y'all get that too 😆

seriously Alter., these songs are so fucking rad thank you for the recommendation. 

ok so im gonna put a video embed here which is just some clips i took today and dear. god. please let me get better at neistat style filmmaking cause holy shit i am not loving how storyless my vids are right now lol. i will say i am excited to look back on this tho. 

shit i guess i should probably explain whats going on in this video hahaha

basically i got all inspired n shit and was like "im gonna go make this website!!!" but then my brain was all "hey dude u need to finish work first" so i was like "okay time to go to the park" which is a common theme for me whenever i need to get work done. idk but something about working outside without a desk or a mouse or a keyboard or anything really just makes me the most creative and resourceful and efficient.

so im skating there im on my way and i realize im still carrying around like $200 in cash because i traded a friend a venmo for cash cause they needed it but tbh i dont really need cash so i was like "shiiiiii i guess i should probably go drop this with the bank". so i headed over to chase and droppped off the coin before heading to the park filmin a couple clips, and finishing work for the day.

after i was done with work i switched computers to my personal, hopped on a ft call with jacques (who has been a complete angel with helping me through all my weird html/css questions), and started diving into how to make my logo stay properly centered on my site. it then got super duper cold (probably not, the sun just went down) so i went to whole foods to pick up a watermelon, came home, watched avatar the last airbender, finished up coding my website and prepping it for vlog-hood, edited this video and here we are now. :)

again, MASSIVE shoutout to jacques for helping me figure out how to do web stuff

i hope my mom reads this, love u mama

alright, all thats left to do now is push these changes and hope my site looks good on mobile! wish me luck!