i wrote this in a starbucks

friday, dec 03 2021, 21:04

table @ some starbucks in toluca lake

today has been an interesting medley of emotions. i had a few moments of effusive building happiness. that kind of excitement and joy that just radiates out of you. i have been feeling super strongly that “whatever you send out comes back you.” my mom always used to say that as a kid and it feels truer now than it ever has before.

i have been posting a fuck ton to social media and nobody seems to be really paying attention, but i kind of don’t care. i tweeted this thing a second ago wait hold on lemme grab the link:

i think this is super on the nose for how i want to behave irl tbh. i think i have spent most of my consious adolescent and adult life thinking “why cant my social media pop off like the popular kids.” in middle and high school it was literally the popular kids, but now its basically any artist doing something i think is cool and am mildly envious of their ability.

but… what if my only audience was my mom? my mom is endlessly supportive and kind and understands my art. and if she doesn’t, she asks me questions about it until she has an understanding about it. my mom is frickin rad!

whenever i used to be down on my art i would always be talking to my mom and she would say something like “well i think its amazing!!” and i would say something like “ehhh but ur my mom that doesn’t count. you have to like everything i do.” — BRUH. i think that is such a fucking myopic take (love that word). it is PRECISELY the people that love everything you do and support you through everything that you should be concerned about! nobody else matters! technically, even they don’t matter! wait i tweeted another thing let me grab it —

ignore the back half, its context specific. but FUCK YEAH!!

“i am having to learn hella hard right now that i cannot base any of my self perception off of what others think of me otherwise i am doomed to be disappointed with myself”

say it fucking again for those in the back!!

“i am having to learn hella hard right now that i cannot base any of my self perception off of what others think of me otherwise i am doomed to be disappointed with myself”

ok, not literally this is a webpage. ma'am this is a wendy's webpage

listening to this now:

so yeah anyways im gonna just start posting heinously. if it bothers u, unfollow me. im just having fun.

back to “whatever you send out comes back to you.” its been popping up EVERYWHERE. i feel like its so simple and basic. i post about my homies music, i get kind comments. i discover a new artist and blast them on my socials, people recognize me in public for my music. its all energy dude. all of it. i love this concept that Alter. has about life/music which is that it requires “content, consistency, community.” i think this is pretty rad because the order is kind of cyclical — making content increases community and then i will add to my community irl and that makes me want to create content which helps me maintain consistency.

its kinda like war games mentality where forgiveness is part of the strategy. if you know what im talking about you do but i have no idea how better to explain it than that. im gonna try to find a youtube video about it rq hold on.

basically i got sidetracked. so i think im just gonna end this here for now. leaving starbucks, trying to radiate positivity. shoutout u mama 🦋💗

-wilson

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